The poem below was emailed to me this week. If you are a parent who's read the "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" book series by Laura Numeroff, this may strike a cord.
If You Give A Mom A Muffin
If you give a mom a muffin,
She’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She’ll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She’ll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she’ll find dirty socks.
She’ll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She’ll look for her cookbook
(“101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger”).**
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She’ll smell something funny.
She’ll change the two year old’s diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She’ll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are…
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.
**Naturally, we'd be using a veg-friendly alternative around here.
I was unable to find the poem's original source or a website belonging to Kathy Fictorie, the credited author.* See editors note 5/21/2012.
I did find creative moms out there turning the poem into a cute DIY gift. Pamela Donnis designed a 4×6" card (left) for the poem and attached it to a package of muffin mix with a bow. She has shared the image file on her blog. I found alternative versions using homemade muffin mixes as well.
Maya's current favorite from the series is "If You Give a Pig a Pancake." We don't own that one and she recently requested it at bed time. I found a version on YouTube being read by another fan. Enjoy.
Is a web video of a child reading a book aloud with copyrighted images an example of online piracy? Probably, but if either piece of proposed federal legislation known as the "Stop Online Piracy Act" and "Protect Intelectual Property Act" passes, a single complaint to my web hosting company could result in Puddle Jumping in DC being shut down over it, no due process, no notice. Find out more. Contact your members of Congress.
* Editors note 5/21/2012: I was contacted by Beth Brubaker, apparently the actual author of the poem. Read her "If You Give a Mom a Muffin – STOLEN!" post here. The irony of the topic of this post and the saga of this poem is not lost on me.