I will cut myself some slack.

obligatory cute kid shot
Originally uploaded by Studiojmm.

I'm not meeting my own expectations and I suspect that it's the expectations that are the problem.

At home, I expect myself to be as organized and crafty as the most productive of stay-at-home parents.

At work, I expect myself to be as effective as the most dedicated (frequently but not always childless) public interest advocate.

At yoga class, I wonder how I don't manage a daily asana and mediation practice.

When I read the blogs of my favorite (and often professional) writers, I lament the sorry state of this one.

Maybe I should give up sleep . . . Oh right, I already have.  So far, Maya has been sleeping less well in her second year than she did in her first.  I've been told that learning to walk can disrupt a child's sleep (it's a neurological development thing) and so can teething, colds, travel, the stomach flu, more teething, more travel, more colds, more travel . . . It's been a fall of unpredictable nap patterns and night waking.

That is nearly as tough on Mac as me (he, at least, is the less favorite parent at 3 am) because it's during nap times that this mostly-a-stay-at-home-Dad becomes an adjunct dance professor with papers to grade and lessons to plan, a dance company director with performances to arrange, and a choreographer with art to make.  Mac has managed to stop expecting the floors to be quite so regularly cleaned (He still manages all of the laundry, most of the grocery shopping, and a lot of the cooking.)


2nd cute kid shot
Originally uploaded by Studiojmm.

So, in 2009, I will:

  1. cut myself some slack;
  2. really get to the gym during lunch rather than simply cart my gym clothes too and from the office (requires cutting self slack at work) – say twice a week;
  3. really get up and practice yoga in the morning before work – twice a week would be an excellent start;
  4. take my vitamins (to offset effects of the sleep thing);
  5. drink more water (One of the perks of the old job was the reverse-osmosis water filter sitting right near my office door.  At the new job, my hydration level isn't nearly as good);
  6. blog more because I simply miss the outlet (and you miss things like the new job) – maybe once a week;
  7. and, if I do all that, I actually think it will help me stress less (provided I actually do #1).